I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I pour the whiskey from now on
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
