that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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