Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
