Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
