I am puke
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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