Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
