After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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