Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
