I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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