I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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