I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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