Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
