I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Randomize
