Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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