Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize