Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
