I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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