Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
