i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
