Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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