Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Barsexuality is the new black.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
