omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
