You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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