Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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