I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
