Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
