dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
did you just send me my own nude
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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