So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
