No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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