my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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