It's like God shit irony all over that family
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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