I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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