oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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