um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i will never coherently bang her
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
