I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
