My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
