Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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