Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Help. Why am I so naked?
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