I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
