I CAN MOONWALK!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
