awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Watching her eat just hurts me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
