i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
