I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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