im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
