Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
