My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
