it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
