I'm really into asian looking animals
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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