and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
