no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
