hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
