fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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