brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
