I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
