I hope mine doesn't look like that
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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