bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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