I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
