Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
