hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
