PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
