Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
