An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
