How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Randomize
